Those of you who know me in real life or have been following my blog here or my writing for The Chronicle of the Horse, know that I have long respected George H. Morris as a rider, horseman, and trainer. Riding with him in 2017 was truly the highlight of my riding career and a long-standing bucket list item. It was the catalyst for my entire year that year, the inspiration I needed to work with other incredible horsemen, and the thing that got me noticed by COTH staff in the first place. It was a proud moment for me.
And none of that changes the fact that there has been an investigation, enough evidence was found to support the decision, and he has been permanently banned by the USEF for sexual misconduct with a minor.
In the hours and days that followed, the horse community seemed to nearly split in half, violently, as people swarmed to blindly defend GM, or demonize him. Facebook groups were formed, online arguments ensued. People cried that this was unfair, that it was a witch hunt, that SafeSport had finally gone too far. People were upset that their hero, their idol, the father of the sport, was being targeted and torn down. No one seemed to be truly asking if it was true, only flocking to the belief that because he was a great horseman, that it wasn't true. Or it didn't matter. Or it was somehow the victims' fault. Or that it was 50 years ago, and "things were different back then." But here's the thing:
A person can be an Olympian, and still be an abuser. A person can be a prolific horseman and gifted trainer, and still be an abuser. A person can nearly single handedly shape the modern sport in America, and still be an abuser.
We cannot make excuses for people no matter how high up they are in an organization, how important they have been to the sport, or because society had different standards back then. We cannot blindly flock to someone in support just because of their name.
Initially my reaction was anger as described above. Surely, not GM? But then all the things I have learned through years of sexual assault prevention and awareness training took over. We need to believe and support victims. We need to let the system do its job. We need to seek justice for those who were victimized and prevent predators from preying on the vulnerable. Our sport, at any level, is susceptible to that power dynamic that begets abuse. That does NOT make the vast majority of professionals abusers, or even likely to abuse. It does offer the select few who want to abuse the environment to do so. As we have seen, there are real examples of how this can and has already happened in our sport. Repeatedly.
Sometimes, I feel like that moment back in 2017 and that highlight of my riding career has been erased. I feel like now, because of this ban and this realization, that it never happened and I can never talk about it again. I am angry because that moment meant so much to be because of what Soon and I accomplished together, how admired he was, and how much it meant to me because of my love for Soon. When I lost Soon two short months later, that GM clinic meant that much more to me. And now I am sad that I won't be able to talk about it in the near future. You won't be able to speak the words George Morris. Those words will represent abuse. And my moment is gone. Now I think how unbelievably selfish that is of me.
Because then I thought: if that's how I feel about a lousy three-day clinic, how on earth must those victims feel?? How did that affect their lives? How must they feel now, to see the vitriol and disbelief flying around the Internet and the barns at horse shows? It is awful enough to be a victim, it is arguably an even worse fate to not be believed, and to be blamed for your own abuse. I realized then that it does not matter how I feel. Because the real tragedy here is that people's lives were changed forever. Whatever they were (aspiring Maclay champions, aspiring Olympians), they became victims. And it is not. Their. Fault.
I highly recommend listening to the NPR podcast, "Believed." It is delivered in several episodes, which systematically dissect Dr. Larry Nassar (former USA Gymnastics doctor who sexually abused over 200 patients) and how he got away with his crimes. You will hear from several victims, the detectives involved with his case, listen to actual recordings of Nassar's interviews. It is enlightening, eye-opening, and shocking.
USA Gymnastics nearly ceased to exist because of this and other scandals. And it makes me think how our sport probably has many more skeletons in its closet, many more people guilty of abuse. Predators must be rooted out of the sport, abuse has no place in this community. I know that the days may get even darker before the USEF, SafeSport, and its Congressionally-mandated mission are done cleaning house. But I hope that the old saying is true, that it is darkest before the dawn, and that this sport will come out of these times stronger, and safer for those who are so passionate about it.
SafeSport's existence is needed. That does not mean it's perfect. I feel confident that the investigation into GM was not rushed, was thorough, and its implications carefully and systematically considered by the USEF officials prior to his ban being announced. How could it not be? The most famous man in the sport? That said, I still think that SafeSport's development and implementation was not as thorough, and its rules do make life difficult and potentially dangerous to your hometown horse trainer, who is not an abuser, who is good, and does follow all the rules. A system can be good and needed, and still be flawed. I just hope that my good friends who do this thing right never find themselves at the wrong end of an accusation. I hope parents and teens understand the new rules and don't put my trainers and friends in a position to be accused of something. I hope everyone believes in this change and we come together as a community to support a change in culture, an increase in transparency, and an increase in safety, for ALL parties involved.
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