Those of you who know me in real life or have been following my blog here or my writing for The Chronicle of the Horse, know that I have long respected George H. Morris as a rider, horseman, and trainer. Riding with him in 2017 was truly the highlight of my riding career and a long-standing bucket list item. It was the catalyst for my entire year that year, the inspiration I needed to work with other incredible horsemen, and the thing that got me noticed by COTH staff in the first place. It was a proud moment for me.
And none of that changes the fact that there has been an investigation, enough evidence was found to support the decision, and he has been permanently banned by the USEF for sexual misconduct with a minor.
In the hours and days that followed, the horse community seemed to nearly split in half, violently, as people swarmed to blindly defend GM, or demonize him. Facebook groups were formed, online arguments ensued. People cried that this was unfair, that it was a witch hunt, that SafeSport had finally gone too far. People were upset that their hero, their idol, the father of the sport, was being targeted and torn down. No one seemed to be truly asking if it was true, only flocking to the belief that because he was a great horseman, that it wasn't true. Or it didn't matter. Or it was somehow the victims' fault. Or that it was 50 years ago, and "things were different back then." But here's the thing:
A person can be an Olympian, and still be an abuser. A person can be a prolific horseman and gifted trainer, and still be an abuser. A person can nearly single handedly shape the modern sport in America, and still be an abuser.
We cannot make excuses for people no matter how high up they are in an organization, how important they have been to the sport, or because society had different standards back then. We cannot blindly flock to someone in support just because of their name.
Initially my reaction was anger as described above. Surely, not GM? But then all the things I have learned through years of sexual assault prevention and awareness training took over. We need to believe and support victims. We need to let the system do its job. We need to seek justice for those who were victimized and prevent predators from preying on the vulnerable. Our sport, at any level, is susceptible to that power dynamic that begets abuse. That does NOT make the vast majority of professionals abusers, or even likely to abuse. It does offer the select few who want to abuse the environment to do so. As we have seen, there are real examples of how this can and has already happened in our sport. Repeatedly.
Sometimes, I feel like that moment back in 2017 and that highlight of my riding career has been erased. I feel like now, because of this ban and this realization, that it never happened and I can never talk about it again. I am angry because that moment meant so much to be because of what Soon and I accomplished together, how admired he was, and how much it meant to me because of my love for Soon. When I lost Soon two short months later, that GM clinic meant that much more to me. And now I am sad that I won't be able to talk about it in the near future. You won't be able to speak the words George Morris. Those words will represent abuse. And my moment is gone. Now I think how unbelievably selfish that is of me.
Because then I thought: if that's how I feel about a lousy three-day clinic, how on earth must those victims feel?? How did that affect their lives? How must they feel now, to see the vitriol and disbelief flying around the Internet and the barns at horse shows? It is awful enough to be a victim, it is arguably an even worse fate to not be believed, and to be blamed for your own abuse. I realized then that it does not matter how I feel. Because the real tragedy here is that people's lives were changed forever. Whatever they were (aspiring Maclay champions, aspiring Olympians), they became victims. And it is not. Their. Fault.
I highly recommend listening to the NPR podcast, "Believed." It is delivered in several episodes, which systematically dissect Dr. Larry Nassar (former USA Gymnastics doctor who sexually abused over 200 patients) and how he got away with his crimes. You will hear from several victims, the detectives involved with his case, listen to actual recordings of Nassar's interviews. It is enlightening, eye-opening, and shocking.
USA Gymnastics nearly ceased to exist because of this and other scandals. And it makes me think how our sport probably has many more skeletons in its closet, many more people guilty of abuse. Predators must be rooted out of the sport, abuse has no place in this community. I know that the days may get even darker before the USEF, SafeSport, and its Congressionally-mandated mission are done cleaning house. But I hope that the old saying is true, that it is darkest before the dawn, and that this sport will come out of these times stronger, and safer for those who are so passionate about it.
SafeSport's existence is needed. That does not mean it's perfect. I feel confident that the investigation into GM was not rushed, was thorough, and its implications carefully and systematically considered by the USEF officials prior to his ban being announced. How could it not be? The most famous man in the sport? That said, I still think that SafeSport's development and implementation was not as thorough, and its rules do make life difficult and potentially dangerous to your hometown horse trainer, who is not an abuser, who is good, and does follow all the rules. A system can be good and needed, and still be flawed. I just hope that my good friends who do this thing right never find themselves at the wrong end of an accusation. I hope parents and teens understand the new rules and don't put my trainers and friends in a position to be accused of something. I hope everyone believes in this change and we come together as a community to support a change in culture, an increase in transparency, and an increase in safety, for ALL parties involved.
Saturday, August 17, 2019
Friday, August 9, 2019
New Saddle...welcome Voltaire BlueWing!
It's been a summer of saddle shopping, and we've done a complete 180 in saddle preferences in the last two months. Now that it's finally over, I can happily say that I'm the owner of a 2018 Voltaire BlueWing saddle.
Well...the part of me that wants my horse to be comfortable and happy is happy. The part of me that has to pay bills and actually sit in the new saddle is still grumbling. Horse is happy because he doesn't have a credit card payment.
I was told awhile ago that my beloved, perfect old school CWD was not working for Sig. He's been going in Ashley's Voltaire Palm Beach all year, and just before I came back from Okinawa, I bought a 2014 Palm Beach. It's well-used, and calfskin (not buffalo), so it's very well worn in. I love the close feel it gives me and how comfy it was. It seemed to fit him pretty well, and he didn't seem to object too much too it, so I accepted that we'd keep it for a bit (a year, two years, who knows) while I saved up for a newer version. It was only meant to be a stop gap.
I had been on the lookout for a Voltaire BlueWing for a long time. I've been interested in them since 2016 when I first heard about the marriage of the Tad Coffin SmartRide tree with the comfortable stylings of Voltaire. I have a long and colorful history with Tad Coffin saddles....If you don't know, do read about that one time Tad came to the farm and we almost got in a fight:
That One Time Tad Came To The Farm and We Almost Got in a Fight
We didn't get in a fight, obviously, and I think the absolute world of Tad as a rider, horseman, and as a gentleman. He is truly one of the most gifted riders I have ever had the privilege of watching. I also applaud his work with saddle trees, and I believe it's a great and much needed innovation. I just know for a fact that it does NOT meet the unscientific claims that these saddles/trees worked for EVERY horse. No saddle can. Soon didn't care for them (made his back extremely sore) and to this date, the TC is the only saddle in history to physically wound me. It just wasn't for us. I later had to ride some other training horses in the barn TC saddles, and I just pretended they were covered in tacks and I couldn't sit down. It was an excellent way to work on strength/conditioning in two-point...
But that doesn't mean I'm not still very interested in the tree technology and how it might benefit some horses. The BlueWing, with it's semi-flexible SmartRide tree, remained in the back of my mind and after learning my CWD was not working for Sig, I kept my eyes open. I missed out on the chance to buy one last fall because I hesitated. It was gone before I could snag it. I regretted that and at the end of June I found the current BlueWing for sale online. It is a 2018 model...I almost bought it that night, but with the move, having just bought new furniture, at the time I had a lengthy hotel bill...I didn't allow myself to. I told myself that once I got the credit card paid off from all the various moving expenses, and if the saddle was still available, then I would ask about it.
And it was. So I did. And I bought it last weekend and took it on trial. And I took many pictures of my horse wearing said saddle on trial.
Initially I thought the BlueWing would never work on him. It just seemed so impossibly narrow when I pulled it out of the box. But the panel foams are double thick and extra soft, so the front view is extremely deceiving. I didn't feel any better about it after I sat it on him, because it seemed like it bridged terribly. By that I don't mean it bridged a little bit and I tried to talk myself out of the bridging; I mean you could drive a Chevy 3500HD dually through the gap.
It really was bad enough that I almost took it off and put it back in my truck right then. I was very close to never riding in it, it looked so terrible. But then I took the advice of the internet (risky right?) and girthed it up lightly, with no pads. The bridging did go away and it seemed like there was no longer any gap even with a little girth contact. That made me feel slightly better, but still skeptical. I hopped on.
I thought the Palm Beach I had picked up earlier in June would be the answer, for now. It seemed to have been okay for Sig, but until now I didn't realize how unhappy he really was in it. The inconsistency in the bridle, the stiff-neck moments and diving, the general hesitation to really move over his back...I thought it might just be a lack of strength or greenness, or my bumbling attempts after a year out of the saddle.
....nope. It was the saddle. My bumbling is only a mild nuisance.
The first ride in the BlueWing it was glaringly obvious there was a massive difference, and that he was going noticeably softer and freer, and happier in the BlueWing. This was repeated in the next four rides and confirmed over fences. It was truly like I was on a completely different horse. I have wanted to avoid the "mAjIkaAL saDDLe!!11!" appearance (can you see the Kool Aide stain on my shirt?), but this was definitely the better fit for Sig. He immediately had a bigger, more swinging walk. His walk/trot transitions were smoother and softer. He offered to be forward and round, all I had to do was close my leg. He wanted to stretch and go long/low. The difference between him in the BlueWing and the Palm Beach could not be more obvious. And I was absolutely thrilled with how he felt in the new saddle. He just seemed so relaxed and happy.
In some ways, that makes me feel a million times better feeling how nicely he can go around, how soft and through, and how much more swing he has in his gaits when he's in the BlueWing. It also makes me feel like a complete asshole for having him in the other saddle, even if it was only about a month and a half. As for how it feels for me? I'll like it better when it is broken in. I feel pretty high off his back, but it got better and I felt more comfortable with each ride. I think once it's not in the "obnoxious new saddle" phase, I'll be just as happy sitting in it as he is wearing it, but until then, I'll make due. It's okay. I will say I did enjoy how I felt jumping in it, that so far has been the most balanced jump school I've had since I got back from my hiatus.
So here I am, with a horse who loves his Voltaire BlueWing with the Tad Coffin SmartRide tree. I had a good laugh about it. At the end of the day, it is about making the horse comfortable and happy, and this saddle does that for Sig. I am thrilled to have it.
The BlueWing came with the full swathe of "stuff" that Voltaire includes with it, none of which holds any interest for me. It's marketing schtick is that it's the first "smart saddle," which means it has a lot of gadgets that come with it to track metrics of your ride. How exactly it does this, I don't know. I am terrified to use TVs that have more than one remote (I will sit in the dark silence alone) so don't expect me to want to dissect the thingy-mabobs that tell me how long I trotted to the left for.
I'm sure that if you have a string of Grand Prix horses those metrics might be useful, but for me with a five year old baby horse cantering 2'3" courses, I'm not interested. This was always about the tree and what it might be able to do for Sig. Perhaps one day I'll put that stuff together and start using it to track my rides, but for now I just want to enjoy riding him in it. I'm happy to report it's the right saddle for my horse, and now I can finally close this saddle shopping saga on a positive note.
...in case anyone was wondering, yes, I still have the CWD. I;m getting buried with that thing. I'm hanging on to it because it really is my perfect saddle, and if nothing else maybe it'll fit a training horse and I can hop on in it on occasion. For now it just has a friend.
Well...the part of me that wants my horse to be comfortable and happy is happy. The part of me that has to pay bills and actually sit in the new saddle is still grumbling. Horse is happy because he doesn't have a credit card payment.
 |
| "DIS LOOK GOOD YES?" |
I had been on the lookout for a Voltaire BlueWing for a long time. I've been interested in them since 2016 when I first heard about the marriage of the Tad Coffin SmartRide tree with the comfortable stylings of Voltaire. I have a long and colorful history with Tad Coffin saddles....If you don't know, do read about that one time Tad came to the farm and we almost got in a fight:
That One Time Tad Came To The Farm and We Almost Got in a Fight
We didn't get in a fight, obviously, and I think the absolute world of Tad as a rider, horseman, and as a gentleman. He is truly one of the most gifted riders I have ever had the privilege of watching. I also applaud his work with saddle trees, and I believe it's a great and much needed innovation. I just know for a fact that it does NOT meet the unscientific claims that these saddles/trees worked for EVERY horse. No saddle can. Soon didn't care for them (made his back extremely sore) and to this date, the TC is the only saddle in history to physically wound me. It just wasn't for us. I later had to ride some other training horses in the barn TC saddles, and I just pretended they were covered in tacks and I couldn't sit down. It was an excellent way to work on strength/conditioning in two-point...
But that doesn't mean I'm not still very interested in the tree technology and how it might benefit some horses. The BlueWing, with it's semi-flexible SmartRide tree, remained in the back of my mind and after learning my CWD was not working for Sig, I kept my eyes open. I missed out on the chance to buy one last fall because I hesitated. It was gone before I could snag it. I regretted that and at the end of June I found the current BlueWing for sale online. It is a 2018 model...I almost bought it that night, but with the move, having just bought new furniture, at the time I had a lengthy hotel bill...I didn't allow myself to. I told myself that once I got the credit card paid off from all the various moving expenses, and if the saddle was still available, then I would ask about it.
And it was. So I did. And I bought it last weekend and took it on trial. And I took many pictures of my horse wearing said saddle on trial.
 |
| "WHY YOU LIKE THIS" |
 |
| Beep beep |
I thought the Palm Beach I had picked up earlier in June would be the answer, for now. It seemed to have been okay for Sig, but until now I didn't realize how unhappy he really was in it. The inconsistency in the bridle, the stiff-neck moments and diving, the general hesitation to really move over his back...I thought it might just be a lack of strength or greenness, or my bumbling attempts after a year out of the saddle.
....nope. It was the saddle. My bumbling is only a mild nuisance.
The first ride in the BlueWing it was glaringly obvious there was a massive difference, and that he was going noticeably softer and freer, and happier in the BlueWing. This was repeated in the next four rides and confirmed over fences. It was truly like I was on a completely different horse. I have wanted to avoid the "mAjIkaAL saDDLe!!11!" appearance (can you see the Kool Aide stain on my shirt?), but this was definitely the better fit for Sig. He immediately had a bigger, more swinging walk. His walk/trot transitions were smoother and softer. He offered to be forward and round, all I had to do was close my leg. He wanted to stretch and go long/low. The difference between him in the BlueWing and the Palm Beach could not be more obvious. And I was absolutely thrilled with how he felt in the new saddle. He just seemed so relaxed and happy.
In some ways, that makes me feel a million times better feeling how nicely he can go around, how soft and through, and how much more swing he has in his gaits when he's in the BlueWing. It also makes me feel like a complete asshole for having him in the other saddle, even if it was only about a month and a half. As for how it feels for me? I'll like it better when it is broken in. I feel pretty high off his back, but it got better and I felt more comfortable with each ride. I think once it's not in the "obnoxious new saddle" phase, I'll be just as happy sitting in it as he is wearing it, but until then, I'll make due. It's okay. I will say I did enjoy how I felt jumping in it, that so far has been the most balanced jump school I've had since I got back from my hiatus.
So here I am, with a horse who loves his Voltaire BlueWing with the Tad Coffin SmartRide tree. I had a good laugh about it. At the end of the day, it is about making the horse comfortable and happy, and this saddle does that for Sig. I am thrilled to have it.
The BlueWing came with the full swathe of "stuff" that Voltaire includes with it, none of which holds any interest for me. It's marketing schtick is that it's the first "smart saddle," which means it has a lot of gadgets that come with it to track metrics of your ride. How exactly it does this, I don't know. I am terrified to use TVs that have more than one remote (I will sit in the dark silence alone) so don't expect me to want to dissect the thingy-mabobs that tell me how long I trotted to the left for.
 |
| Literally me |
I'm sure that if you have a string of Grand Prix horses those metrics might be useful, but for me with a five year old baby horse cantering 2'3" courses, I'm not interested. This was always about the tree and what it might be able to do for Sig. Perhaps one day I'll put that stuff together and start using it to track my rides, but for now I just want to enjoy riding him in it. I'm happy to report it's the right saddle for my horse, and now I can finally close this saddle shopping saga on a positive note.
 |
| I don't know what this does. |
 |
| ...or this |
 |
| What is this even for |
...in case anyone was wondering, yes, I still have the CWD. I;m getting buried with that thing. I'm hanging on to it because it really is my perfect saddle, and if nothing else maybe it'll fit a training horse and I can hop on in it on occasion. For now it just has a friend.
 |
| Best friends |
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