We're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat...

FOR SALE:
Adult Great White shark. Jumps and dressage.  Does 1.15m easily w/changes, schooling 2nd level, hacks out alone or in company. Jumps XC. Loads, trailers, clips like a dream. Athletic and talented.  Talks and does tricks for treats. "Cute." Shark cage not included. Will consider trade for bottle nosed dolphin of like ability.

This isn't cute.

Not cute.

 This happened this morning.  Came out to the barn very early because I needed to ride and then go to the local dressage show and braid a couple of horses.  I arrived and went out to grab Soon and his new turnout buddy, Z, from their field.  After they both walked up to me looking for carrots, I haltered them like I always do and we started walking toward the barn.  

Then I guess Soon decided THAT was a good time to remind Z who was in charge in the field (poor horse judgment), so he came across and ended up hitting me behind my left shoulder blade.  I think he might have panicked when he hit me instead of the other horse, because he clamped down (as scared horses sometimes do) and held on for what was probably only three or four seconds, but felt like forever.  He started to pull backward, but my shoulder was still in his teeth so that didn't feel great at all being dragged to the left.

He let go and immediately regretted his decision.  I was screaming at him as that was extremely painful.  I mean, there's being bitten and then there's "removing a pound of flesh off my bones" and it definitely fell in the latter category...I was in so much pain that I was at one point down on one knee holding on to two horses in the field.  But...after some more cursing at the top of my lungs, we dropped Z off in his stall, Soon and I had a Manners 101 refresher in the round pen, and then we had a pretty good refresher of the Linda Zang lesson.  

I'm just glad I didn't leave the barn angry with him.  Still had a good ride (of course he was very sorry and very perfect in the round pen as well), he was still sweet, and there's still a lot of love and appreciation for an otherwise good morning at the barn.  So, while I joked with friends that I had to murder him, or that I was selling my Land Shark, that's not the case.  He's not going anywhere.  But he has earned himself some new nicknames, AND he's lost his stall guard privileges.  He and Z won't be making faces at each other in the barn anymore.  

Won't lie...after I got home from the horse show, I was hoping there'd be some kind of mark.  I had bitched to my friends about it all morning, and I'd feel dumb if there was nothing showing for it.  But I did NOT expect the carnage above.  I ran out to my truck after it happened to check in the mirror to see if I was bleeding - it felt bad enough to break skin, but I didn't see anything showing through the shirt.  Most of the red is just blood blistering, there are a few bloody scratches in there, but I'm happy it wasn't worse because that would have meant an ER visit.  I don't screw with animal bites.

But it hurts like a bitch, so I'm chilling on the couch with some ice and ibuprofen and cider and writing blog posts.  Whee.