Contemplating our tomorrows

So...sitting here on a Sunday night on a long holiday weekend watching the Capital Challenge stuff on demand (THANK YOU, USEF).  Normally I'd be sitting there at the PGEC watching Capital Challenge classes in person, but this year I'm 7,000 miles away wishing I was there eating my greasy horse show burger and watching the hunters in the coliseum.

Oh, well.

I am watching a lot of horse show stuff online lately, and the more I do, the more I think about what might have been with Soon.  More importantly though, and now (thankfully) more often, I think about what can be with Sig.  Perhaps someday we'll find ourselves at Capital Challenge too.  That'd be pretty cool.

I'm flipping between the adult amateur jumper classes and the A/O hunters, and I can see us playing in both rings.  I would love to spend more time in the jumper ring, having spent so much of my life in the hunters already.  But Sig has the chops to be a good hunter, at some level, so we'll see what he likes and what he's good at as he grows up. 

Dude has the metronome to match the knees

I think being a super hunter-y jumper can be a good thing.  Still harping on the jumper thing because I really loved the more casual, experienced-based and fun mindset I had about it last year...and maybe the clothing just a little bit.

I LIKE THE MATCHY-MATCHY OKAY

But more than anything I am just excited.  I'm excited because I think Sig and I have a really fun future ahead of us.  Not just from a showing perspective (I'm looking forward to having maybe 2 big A/AA rated shows on our calendar a year with some sprinkling of local options throughout the season), but from an all around fun point of view.  I spent today looking at Sig's old sale photos and videos that Carleigh had posted last year.  Having been away for awhile now, and before that having a pretty light  winter/spring with Sig, I had almost forgotten how easy going and game he is. 

Dressage?  He can learn it and one day he's going to be good at it.  Canter through water and jump strange (baby) XC obstacles?  Non-issue.  Go around like he's got a metronome in his brain while jumping out of his skin?  Of course.  Hack out alone?  Hell yes! 

...which is perfect, because I wish to do all those things.

I'm going to have a lot of fun with this horse.  I already have, but there is so, so much more in store.  He's a baby and has his whole career ahead of him, and I'm the one that gets to go along for the ride.  It's impossible to not be giddy like a school girl over that fact.  Like a giddy school girl singing Frozen songs.

"Do you wanna be a show horse?  You don't have to be a show horse..."

Kentucky's son is doing well.  He went to the Kentucky Horse Park the other week to school, and Ashley found out he still is terrified of Saddlebreds.  He's clearly needing more mileage, but some more field trips will cure that.  He's back out living outside 24/7 for the time being to save his mommy some money.  If he has to come in for the worst of the winter that's fine, but it's nice knowing he's living out again, he always seemed to enjoy that the most.

Reliving the greatest moment in my career

Soon and I with George H. Morris

 One year ago today was the day George Morris asked to buy my horse.  

Soon and I were participating in the 2017 George H. Morris clinic at Beverly Equestrian (The Plains, VA).  On the second day of the clinic, George hopped on Soonie to demo the grid jumping, and Bubba was an absolute star.  GHM is known for his love of a good Thoroughbred, and he loved Soon so much he kept jumping back and forth through the grid, again and again, and when he eventually pulled up, he kept asking me what his price was.  I am sure it was completely in jest, a charming way for George to express that he liked the horse.  Even if that's true, just the fact that he had enjoyed his ride on Soon was enough for me to remember that moment for a lifetime.

I had spent 27 years as a horseman and rider, starting as a little kid.  Growing up I idolized George Morris, Joe Fargis, Michael Matz, Leslie Burr Howard, so many other great American jumper riders.  This clinic and that incredible horse inspired me to ride with Joe Fargis, Linda Zang, Stephen Bradley.  All world class horsemen ...legends, even ... in their own right and training regularly with any one of them I would have thought an impossible accomplishment before last year.  But we did it.  And there I was on 13 September 2017, on my little Thoroughbred who I had retrained off the track myself, and he had impressed the most famous horseman in the world.

I was so incredibly proud of Soon, and still am.  I knew well before then that he was special, and I didn't need anyone else to think that.  But now not only did someone validate it for me, but it was George Morris.  Talk about an actual dream come true. 

I miss Soon.  It will not get easier the next couple of months.  But looking back, I still feel the overwhelming pride and sheer joy I felt in that moment, watching George ride around on Soon, praising him the whole way.  I can still feel the sting of the long-held smile on my face from George's compliments of Soonie, from his comments later about stealing him away.  I can still feel what it was like to give Soon the biggest hug after the session was over, so full of joy and pride that I cried into his neck.

Yeah...that had to be one of the greatest memories I will ever have with a horse.  The cool thing though?  I look back on every quiet hack, every sunset we watched out over the farm, and think of them just as fondly.  

With all the memories of the work that into that GHM clinic, and all the videos of old indoors/Olympics/etc horse shows I can find, I feel compelled to celebrate with some of our favorite action shots from last year:

Upperville Colt & Horse Show, 2017

Piedmont Jumper Classic, 2017

 Brother...you were the absolute coolest.  I miss you.  

But to end this blog on a very happy note, check out Boy Wonder back in Kentucky:

I just received that yesterday.  I have no desire whatsoever to get back in the hunter ring full time, but I think it's becoming pretty clear Siggy needs to do some hunter derbies.  His hunter potential is just disgusting in like the best way.  A good reason to dust off my tails!

...and then afterward we can go back to being the most well dressed/color coordinated, metronome/huntery 1.0m jumpers ever.

I like this plan.

New Show Name for Sig!

It only took me the better part of 10 months, but I think I've finally decided on a show name for Sig:

SIBELIUS MB

"Say whaaaaat?"

Jean Sibelius is a romantic/early modern-era classical composer.  MB stands for Mt Brilliant, the historic farm in Lexington, Kentucky that bred and raised Sig.

I had been going back/forth on keeping his current name Lucky Strike, given to him by his breeder, but not backed up with any kind of paperwork.  He has no papers at all.  Lucky Strike, being a little too commonly used for my taste, and me not being in anyway interested in cigarettes, was never super appealing to me.  I did register him with USEF under "MB Lucky Strike," but never really felt satisfied with it.  So I tossed around some ideas, mainly nautical/maritime themed.  Seemed like I could find something that would be good, possibly even tying to his sire's name, Northern Afleet.

And I found tons of options.  Damn good, classy, clever ones....a couple that absolutely related to his sire's name.  And none of them really "fit" Siggers.

Since I picked up the violin last spring, and have immersed myself in classical music, rediscovering old favorites and discovering works I had never had the pleasure of experiencing before (or was too immature to appreciate before), I toyed with using that as inspiration for Sig's new name.  And the idea felt right to me.

So I wrote down every violin-related or music-related term that I thought might be a great nod to my rediscovered passion.  Finally I landed on Sibelius.  I think it just looks and sounds right for Sig.

I think he looks like a Sibelius

Here is one of my favorite violinists, James Ehnes, performing Sibelius' Violin Concerto in D Minor with the Frankfurt Radio Symphony:

Thoughts on SafeSport

The complaining I have seen online about the SafeSport requirement is pathetic.

Excuses about spending an hour on an online training course, or not having kids or not being at a barn with kids, or not competing that much, or pushing back because Big Brother government is telling us what to do, or this training being useless and not helping anyone...they are all lame ass, lazy excuses that all total up to "It's not my problem." 

It is your problem. It's my problem too.

Look any victim in the eye and tell them it's not your problem. Perhaps if more people knew what to look for, or knew how to voice a concern, or if society was more open about talking and supportive of reporting abuses, that victim wouldn't be a victim. If this training helps just one person, it's worth it.

All sports with a national governing body in the US are required to implement this program.  So USEF isn't just making this up to further burden us poor, overworked, amateurs.  Personally, I'm still trying to figure out why members are always complaining about the burdens and regulations and blah blah blah...I don't think it's that complicated to pay a fee, abide by the rules, and take one stinking training course.  But maybe I just didn't sign up for the complicated version of USEF, who knows.

There is a very real meaning behind this requirement, and it wouldn't exist if some Very Bad People hadn't taken advantage of children while third party witnesses looked the other way.

No, the training isn't perfect and is a bit of a CYA move, but it's a start in the right direction, and is the easiest way to make an immediate, measurable impact across a large spectrum. I can make a joke about the amount of useless computer based training I have to take in the military, but the reality is that this training isn't useless or pointless.  It is just one training course and then you can go on your way.  Gasp...the annual refresher course is only 30 minutes.  I think you can scrounge up 30 minutes once a year to complete the refresher too. 

They're not asking you to invade Columbia, folks.

If you can bitch about it on Facebook or the COTH forums, you clearly have the time to knock it out. No internet at home? Visit your local library or Starbucks and do it on your phone.

Oh, you're offended at having to take the training because you feel it doesn't apply to you? That's fine....then don't compete. You have a choice. No one is forcing us to spend $2K at a USEF competition with our luxury show pets.

I just don't have the patience for people who want to yell and scream about how unfair this is.  Some are acting absolutely absurd. 

I think in the long line of accomplishments in the sport, speaking out and offering a voice in this discussion might be one of Anne's more important achievements.

On Stranger Tides

Seems like every time I go to sit down and write, that's when I lose the inspiration.

No surprise then I've started and dropped this update a couple times now.

Also no surprise that, to be quite frank, there has hardly been reason for me to write.  A year ago I was flying high, enjoying the journey of a lifetime, and as I come up on some major milestones in that journey in the coming months, it just makes me sad.

But to cut to the chase, so much has changed in the last year, even in the last few months since my last blog entry.  Sig and I enjoyed a quiet spring, did a lot of hacking, very little ring work, and mostly he chilled and got to grow up a little.  I didn't spend a lot of time riding due to work being crazy, and getting ready for my pending military move.  Where did I end up going?

Japan.

 

...Okinawa, to be specific.  I arrived in the middle of June.  It was a whirlwind spring, I had a lot of life-sorting and packing to do, hence Sig's light work schedule.  I dropped Siggers off with my trainer friend, Ashley, at her farm in Kentucky (just down the road from Mt. Brilliant where he grew up!) back in May.  Because the relationship is so new I wondered whether it would be easy to drive away...I finally stopped crying uncontrollably somewhere after I cleared the Lexington city limits.

Just before I started the long drive home without him...

He's doing great out there.  He's getting ridden now four days a week, getting a real foundation in flatwork and gridwork to start his career off right.  Ashley does a lot of hacking with him as well since he loves that and it's great for his brain.  She is a wonderful, soft rider who has a very similar approach to training as I do, so I could not think of a better person for him to go to.  He's currently doing night turnout, but he has the option of living out 24/7, so it's a great situation for him.  Here are some progress videos:






He will spend the year with Ashley, and I will spend the year here on Okinawa.  All in all, not a bad place to spend the year (yes...these are all my own photos of the neighborhood where I live!):

My work is my primary focus while I'm here, but I also have a couple of hobbies and areas of self-improvement I want to focus on.  I want to spend more time reading books, preferably on my quiet beach and away from technology and distractions.  I want to get fit again; I lost all my fitness and gained nearly 20 lbs since Soon's illness, subsequent death, and some unfortunate family issues that followed shortly thereafter.  I want to lose that weight and get fit so I can get back in the saddle and not miss a beat.

I also decided to start learning the violin.  This was a lifelong "dream" of mine, something I always wanted to do, but I guess until recently never allowed it to be more than just a thought.  I bought a violin two years ago at the encouragement of a colleague, but the poor thing sat in a corner, neglected, until I got my orders to Okinawa.  I started weekly lessons with a local professional in a last-ditch attempt to learn whatever I could in those two months before I left.

Bae and I in the airport waiting on our flight overseas

I found an incredible teacher here on Okinawa, and I lesson with her weekly.  It is my hope to learn as much as possible in this year, where I do not have any other major hobbies or distractions.  This is a great opportunity for me to dedicate myself to this instrument, so that I can have a solid foundation for the future.  I hope to continue regular lessons when I get back to the States, hopefully play in a local (community) orchestra, perhaps even some chamber music someday when I'm good enough.

I used to be a musician; I studied classical piano for 10 years.  I played both the piano and clarinet (concert bands and wind ensembles) from my seventh birthday through my senior year in college.  Studying music is a lot like serious training in the horse world.  It takes a lot of work, a lot of dedication, and incredible amount of humility, and passion.  It's been nice to revisit my musical training and get back in touch with a part of myself I had long ignored.

And it's keeping me happy (or, as happy as it can).  It's almost as important as riding is, but of course it cannot quite fill that void.  I had major withdrawals this past week.  Was super sad about not being around horses, was missing Sig, was mourning Soon, was completely unsure how to get through the next 10 months without horses.

Sig also needs a new saddle by the sounds of it, so that is a large expense I had not budgeted for yet.  It will likely cost me my planned adventure to New Zealand this winter.   I had really wanted to go and spend a week or two in NZ.  It was the lifetime adventure, complete with horseback treks.  Now I seriously doubt I can afford any of that.

There are some (limited) riding options on Okinawa.  I do not know if I will end up riding here or not, but one of the barns is open to having me come out and hop on horses if we can make the timing work, so just knowing it's an option makes me feel more at ease.  Also, getting outside, away from the computer, getting moving, and getting some work done with the violin have helped put me in a better mood.

This is a year of finding myself, hitting the reboot button and finding out who I am now without my great partner, without some of the support systems I had in place before.  Hopefully this makes me a stronger person.  A better person.  A better partner for Sig.

We'll see.

The Unicorn Unicorns!

The last several weeks have been hit or miss when it comes to barn time.  It seems that every time I want to get to the barn to work with Sig, something gets in the way: work, weather, lack of daylight, frozen or flooded footing, more crappy weather, more crises at work.  He has had a very sporadic training program at best, which is not ideal for young horses.  Not that he needs to be working a lot or working hard (I keep telling myself:  HE’S THREE!!!), but I like for him to be doing a little bit, maybe 20 or so minutes four to five days a week.  Enough to be a routine.  Enough to build off.  Not so much that we tax his growing body or attention span.

But despite all that, he is making noticeable progress.  My focus has been on hacking, and while we’re hacking out building strength over the gentle hills around the property, I’ve been trying to educate him more about moving forward off the leg and up into the bridle.  I have been getting him more confident in the contact.  Before he would just tuck his nose in and pose (a neck and head position only), whereas now he’s really starting to lay a more classic/correct foundation. He is starting to connect the dots, and when I put my leg on now, he is not only stepping forward and getting softer through the topline, he is also starting to want to take that contact down and offer some stretch.  It’s a whole body position, instead of just tucking his nose in and posing.

The last week or so I’ve been able to get on him a couple times a week more consistently, and because of the extremely wet weather, we’ve had to do a lot more ring work than I usually like to do because it’s just too wet to hack.  Sig has been a total champ and doesn’t mind, though.  And as a silver lining, almost overnight he started to ride like a much more educated horse in the ring.  We ride straight lines, we don’t completely blow out through the shoulder or hind end around circles….he just is riding more and more like a “normal” horse and not a baby.  And hot damn does he feel awesome!

"Inside leg to outside rein" is his new Jesus, and I am 100% here for that.

Here’s a video from very early on (December 17, 2017), where he was in Soon’s old bridle.  Between the couple weeks off from work, the loose ring snaffle which was probably too busy for his mouth (for now anyway), and the headstall that wasn’t really giving him enough room behind the ears, he started off extremely fussy and not wanting to come forward or stay steady on the contact.  And when I say on the contact, I don’t mean “on the bit.”  At three, I’m not so concerned where his head is, just that he’s coming forward, tracking straight, and I can feel both sides of his mouth.  If his nose is poked out, that’s completely fine.  Again….three year old.

But it felt like he didn’t like or feel confident in any kind of contact, and was constantly looking to be above it or below it (doesn’t look as bad on the video as it felt when we initially started):

Here’s a video from January 11.  I had switched him into a Micklem headstall, as he liked the extra room behind the ears, and his busy mouth seemed to like the dropped noseband effect it offered (he had been in a similar rig in Kentucky so was used to it).  I also switched him into a rubber French Link Dee; he had been in a rubber D before, and he probably could use a little extra support on the turns from the stable D.  He’s starting to understand the forward into the bridle, but it hasn’t really clicked with him yet in this video.  He’s still a bit tight through the body and straight/not falling out are really tough.  At least we got the equipment right and were headed in the right direction:

And here’s the video from today.  Again, the extra ring work has paid off as the lightbulb went on and he has been feeling super on the flat.  He’s looser and more relaxed through the body, he’s more confident on the contact and even offers to be on the bit (or close to it) somewhat consistently.  I try not to ask for him to be round, for the most part he just starts going that way when I apply my inside leg and push him into my outside rein.  He does occasionally get above the contact or just behind it by dropping his poll, which I have to correct by keeping his outside shoulder straighter with my outside aids.

He has a short neck so it’s deceptively easy for him to get behind the vertical, so in general I like him to be longer and lower with his nose poked out and just focus on him being relaxed and in rhythm.  Which is a difference I’m seeing from the early videos to today’s video: earlier on he’d tuck his nose and pose in a shorter/higher frame, but now he’s a little bit longer in the outline and you can see the positive improvement across his entire body as he's starting to push a little more behind and let go a little across the back.

This wasn’t even the good part of the ride; just before I asked for the video he was really feeling loose, stepping well from behind and was very consistent in the bridle.  We lost a little bit of that after the short video request break, and the mare long lining in the adjacent ring started trotting around which was slightly distracting.  But all in all, looking at the earlier videos to today, I see a noticeable difference in his whole body, which is exciting.  Baby steps!

He is great over the poles, I'm going to start making more complicated ground pole exercises to keep him thinking.  He also cantered yesterday for the first time since he arrived, and of course he was totally perfect.  I've just avoided cantering for awhile until we get a little stronger and better balanced.  We'll be adding a little more canter work from now on.  I plan to start jumping again in probably mid-late March and doing a bunch of gridwork.

Sig's also been doing great with his groundwork too.  He really loves to work, whether it's undersaddle or on the ground.  He likes to be engaged, loves being around people, and always wants to please.  Lately we've been working on him minding my personal space, instead of constantly being on top of me (I love the love, buddy, but maybe just when I want it thanks!).  He is not pushy at ALL, he just is a snuggle bug and probably the one thing he's always known about basic human interaction is that they want you right next to them.  Always be next to the human (think leading, some groundwork exercises, etc).  So now I'm just trying to teach him I want him next to me sometimes, and sometimes I want him to stay away from my bubble.  And it's okay to be outside my bubble, you have your own bubble.  And you're totally capable of handling yourself in your bubble.

"Are you SURE you don't want me next to you??"

"...okay that's fine.  I'm fine."

I've talked to him about it on the ground just around the barn, but today was the first real groundwork session focusing on it, and it took him about five minutes to be a total pro.  We'll reinforce this with more sessions, but the fact that I was able to drop the rope and walk that far away, and for him to not immediately follow me, is pretty huge.  He tries so hard to please and is SO smart!!

I also worked with him on the rope working on getting him to disengage and yield his hindquarters, step under with the inside hind and bend through the body as I come into his space and ask him to move out.  Two good trainers on YouTube that help illustrate this, Joseph Newcomb (dressage trainer), and Warwick Schiller:

Just good basic horsemanship tidbits.  This is all stuff I've been introducing to Sig and playing with, he really seems to have fun with it and is such a chill dude about everything.  I am totally impressed with his brain, his work ethic, his temperament, and his attitude.  His personality is just icing on the cake, because it's impossible not to fall in love with this guy.  I am so excited about our future!

My Summer With Giants

(To be posted on The Chronicle Of The Horse)

It is all too easy at times to sell yourself short. To tell yourself you cannot or should not do something, that you are not worthy. It might be because you are an amateur, or a new professional, or because you lack the financial means, time, or support. You tell yourself, “Now is not the time,” or “That would be nice someday,” or “I don’t belong.” Sometimes you sigh, relegate things to just being dreams, and simply walk away.

But dreams are meant to be chased.

It has been three months since I lost my heart horse, Soon. I would be lying if I said I was feeling better. Yes, some time has passed. Yes, I have a brilliant, fun, talented, and sweet new young horse (whom I will update you all on next time!) and a totally new journey to look forward to. Yes, I am blessed to be where I am, and to have had the time and experiences I had with Soon. But I have still spent the last 24 hours crying uncontrollably. I just miss my best friend.

In these moments of sadness, deepened by the gloomy winter weather and recent lack of saddle time, I reflect on the summer of a lifetime I had with Soon in 2017. A summer spent training with the legends of sport. My time amongst giants. A season of dreams coming true.

I think of my summer with Linda Zang, Joe Fargis, Stephen Bradley, and George Morris, riding my $1500 off-track Thoroughbred that I reschooled myself. This is a story of humility, passion, a little humor, and a whole lot of hard work, all for a reward that I cannot hang on any wall.

And I smile.


2017 Is Our Year

Who am I, after all? I was an amateur rider, who only occasionally lessoned, often going months between lessons. I hacked out a lot. Part of it was because I just wanted to enjoy being on my horse, part was my lack of motivation and drive to train more seriously. I had brought Soon along totally on my own, and while we came a long way, I knew he had a lot more potential. There were so many opportunities to train with greats, to train and learn from the best, and I had squandered them all up until then. With only a year or so remaining in the D.C. area due to my active duty military service, I was beginning to feel like time was running out.

I decided late in 2016 that 2017 year was our chance. I found inspiration in my barn friends, who helped give me confidence that I had what it takes to ride with the big names, that average people like us do it all the time, and why waste such an incredible opportunity living in this horsey-rich area. I agreed. My newfound motivation started in October 2016, when I signed up for my first lesson with dressage guru, Linda Zang.

I had grand visions of Soon and I dancing together in our first lesson with Linda, but in reality, it resembled something closer to a high school wrestling match….an awkward Junior Varsity one. Some poor timing on my part and a schedule running well ahead of itself left us with no warm up time on our first visit to that property. This was not what I planned. He was not loose. I was not ready. I got tense, he got tenser as we stepped forward to meet one of the most famous names in dressage.

I introduced myself and Soon, but what I probably should have said was, “Greetings, my name is Petrified and this is my feral steed, The Terrorist Giraffe….Let’s do that dressage!”

Linda actually called him a gangster at one point, so that should help illustrate how the lesson was going.

The next 40 minutes were a series of carefully coached circles, getting Soon to release some through his neck and shoulders, and for me to ride him from behind through to the bridle. It was not what I envisioned; it was ugly, but it was a breakthrough. The fact that Linda saw us at our absolute worst, and did not kick us out, was itself a victory. What I love about Linda is her ability to isolate and identify the problem, simplify the solution, and explain it. That is a gift. If you ever ride with her or audit, you will always see a notable change in horse and rider from the start of the lesson to the end. Some more than others, but always a change, and always a clearer understanding for the rider. She is such a professor that you cannot help but walk away feeling inspired.

While Linda is tough, she is also kind and incredibly funny. I laughed at myself several times during that first ride. It was hard work each time I took a lesson, but I loved every minute of it and everything she said was soaked in meaning and importance.

Linda's place in the USDF Hall of Fame

We continued to ride with Linda over the summer of 2017. Soon and I worked all winter on the points of that first lesson, and he was a different horse when we started back with her in May. He went from “He’s such a gangster!” to a complete gentleman, earning an “I love this horse!” from Linda. Also, somewhere in there she taught me how to ride. We continued to focus on moving him more through the shoulders, which helped keep him straighter and keep the outside hind under his body for better balance and control. Linda also helped me work on my weight through my seat bones and how that was affecting our right lead canter, and how to use the counter bend to keep Soon more up in front, all of which was an enormous help in our jumping.

In early April, I signed up for the September 2017 George H. Morris clinic at Beverly Equestrian, and immediately afterward I began looking for ALL THE TRAINERS to get us both prepared for George that fall. I need to give a big shout out to the wonderful Katie Domino at Domino Equestrian in Harwood, Maryland, for getting Soonie and I on the right track and being my trainer/sanity check between clinicians. It was at Domino that I started working with Olympic eventer, Stephen Bradley.

Our monthly clinics with Stephen were always challenging, but so incredibly positive and filled with progress. Big takeaways from jump schools with Stephen were to keep Soon up more through the head/neck in corners, to stay soft in the hand, and keep the leg on so that he stays active and forward through the turn. Of course, when I kept my leg and softened my arm to the fence (something Katie had already identified and had me working on), the flow and rhythm of the course just started to happen as Soon learned to stand himself off from the fence and find the base on his own.

Mostly Soon was perfect and I was adequate. We did have an explosion one day over the introduction of the liverpool, which inspired some no-kidding Tony Award winning antics from Soonie (because it was a theatrical masterpiece complete with horsey jazz hands). After approximately 384.5 passes over the liverpool, I can honestly say I have never been so exhausted in a lesson. But I learned how to better handle and prepare Soon for liverpools in the future (they would absolutely be in the GM clinic).

I also learned that it is okay to have a bad ride in front of someone you respect. I hated having that kind of episode with the World’s Most Perfect Horse in front of Stephen, but he was calm, understanding, and somehow got me to laugh about it by the end. That was so important. Growth does not happen when everything is going perfectly. Growth happens during and after the struggle (and The Struggle™ was very real that day).

At the end of May, I traveled out to Upperville with Soonie to ride with Joe Fargis for the first time. The man needs no introduction. My barnmate had ridden with him periodically over the years, and kindly invited me to attend her summer training sessions. I had driven by Stoneleigh countless times in the years that I lived and trained in the Middleburg area, but it had never occurred to me to just call Mr. Fargis up and ask if I could lesson with him, as much as I dreamed about it.

After all, I was a nobody…why would he let me ride with him? How on earth was I qualified for that? How does one even go about doing such a thing?

Well, it turns out that there are these really neat devices called “telephones”…you use them to speak to people far away and can even schedule a lesson with famous people. Magic, right?

I was probably more nervous to ride with Joe than anyone else. I have an immense amount of respect for his style and horsemanship. It should be no surprise that when it came time for me to introduce myself, my horse, and our goals, I completely forgot to be polite and stop to discuss. I just kept trotting in a circle around him and gave the required information. Round and round and round and round…

There I was, at arguably one of the most beautiful farms I had ever seen, riding with one of my heroes, and I had turned into a rude Panic Tornado.

Great.

Joe took pity on me and I was very politely informed that I am not wasting his time by stopping to talk. That we did not rush things in these lessons. We took our time, we stayed relaxed. And after the initial embarrassment, we had the most incredible ride, and I drove home on cloud nine, a true bucket list item accomplished.

The next four months I rode with Joe as often as I could, usually visiting every two to three weeks, but almost weekly toward the end of the summer as we drew closer to the GM clinic. I so value my time working with Joe. If you look up the word “gentleman” in the dictionary, there is a picture of Joe Fargis next to it. As one might expect, he is exacting, and has high standards in riding and horsemanship. He is such a classic horseman, and it was easy for me to put a lot of pressure on myself to make the most of every minute of those lessons. Sometimes, that got in the way.

I had one difficult lesson out on the Grand Prix field, where I could not make decisions. Soon was trying, but getting rather sick of my poor riding. He stopped going into a bounce, he stopped again going into a straight forward two-stride after I came out of the turn, took my leg off, and pointed him at the standard.

I just pulled up and sat there for a few moments, not scolding Soonie as none of that was his fault. That was his way of telling me to wake up because as much as he tried, he could not do it himself. I was not riding that day. Joe knew I was frustrated. I was embarrassed that I was riding like that in front of him. I felt like I was wasting his time, and letting my horse down as well.

Joe very calmly and quietly told me to let it go when I make mistakes. They happen. Getting upset and replaying them over and over does not solve anything, it only makes the next decision worse. It gets you and the horse tense. Relax. It was the totally nonchalant way in which he delivered it too that helped dissolve the choking pressure I was putting on myself. If I was wasting his time, he did not act like it. He had all the time in the world for me in that moment. It was the perfect zen; a vital piece of sports psychology and exactly what I needed to get my head together, sit up, and finally ride. The result was this:

The last dream for us in 2017 was the George H. Morris clinic that September (there is a full clinic report so you can live the terror experience too!). Over the course of the three-day clinic, I knew exactly when and how Linda, Stephen, and Joe set Soon and I up for success. George complimented us on how straight, adjustable, and balanced Soon traveled on the flat (and over fences); that was Linda. The supporting leg and non-drama over the liverpool was Stephen. The soft hands/arms, poise, precision, and attention to detail was Joe. George’s comments over the next three days tied it all together.

The beauty of riding with legends like these is that they are all consistent with one another on major aspects of riding. They do not contradict one another, not even across discipline lines. They all focus on the basics. They keep it simple. They do not complicate anything. They do not take shortcuts. They make it about horsemanship and put the horse first. They acknowledge that they never stop learning and continue to evolve. This is riding at the top levels. It is the longtime focus and dedication to those classic, timeless principles of horsemanship that makes people like that so successful.

It was the culmination of a summer of dream chasing, and I could not have written any of it better than how it unfolded. I grew so much as a horseman and a rider that year, more than any other point in my life. Soon also came so far during this time. This little Thoroughbred, a lower level claimer with 52 starts on the track, trained with true legends sport and earned the respect and praise of every single one of them. It was perfect , magical, and beautiful, and was almost as if it was by design…as if Soon was helping me accomplish all this before he had to leave.

Life should scare you a little bit, from time to time. If you truly want to improve, you should be pushed outside your comfort zone. I have heard it said that if you are comfortable, then you are not growing. You are not being challenged. You are being safe. Where progress and growth are concerned…safe is death.

That does not mean literal death, so do not do dangerous or reckless things. However, it does mean that when the opportunity presents itself, grab it and let it take you somewhere. You will not always know the full extent of the investment, or what the destination will be. You will not know what the world will look like on the other side. But I promise you that it will be worth it.

I know full well the value of taking things slow, that sometimes it is more important to just be around horses than it is to train and compete. But I also know that chances will present themselves and you will have to decide whether to take that journey. You may feel you do not deserve it or that you are not worthy. “Why me?” you might ask. Do not think like this. Instead, ask yourself: “…Why not?”

It might just change your life, and you, too, might discover what it feels like to walk with giants.